| Harry Potter Fandom: | I wish I could go to Hogwarts! |
| Percy Jackson Fandom: | I wish I could go to Camp Half-Blood! |
| Doctor Who Fandom: | I wish I could travel in the TARDIS! |
| The Hunger Games Fandom: | Never. |
I have always lived my life knowing what was coming next for me. Year after year I knew what I would be doing. Getting further and further into my education. But now…for once I have no clue what I’m doing. I know where I’ll be but I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what the classes or the people will be like! I feel like I’m being thrown into a maze blindfolded unsure about every step I take. Doubt and worry continuously consumes me. I’m afraid of making a decision that could ruin my life. I’m petrified with fear at the entrance to the maze that is college.
“You have plenty of time to decide!” They say! “You figure out your interests in college!” They say! Honestly, if I haven’t figured out by the end of high school what things interest me, I’m screwed! Because by now everyone has drilled you with the same questions!!
“What to you want to be when you grow up?”
“What school are you going to?”
“What is your ideal career?”
“What do you want to major in?”
I DON’T KNOW!!!
My life has been planned annually by the school system but only up until the end of high school. We are quickly reaching that end. That end is at the edge of a cliff that dangerously drops off into a vast darkness. Hoping beyond all hope, I’m forced to jump into that abyss trusting that i will land safely. There is no way to tell what lies in wait for me at the bottom of this abyss, assuming there is a bottom and I won’t just keep falling!! I feel so unprepared!
I can’t live in the moment when everything that college is about is finding a better future for myself.
What should I do with my life? I feel like i have been coming up with random answers to the constant onslaut of questions about my future. I’m not ever 100% sure about my decisions. That’s what scares me the most. Making the wrong decision. Being unhappy… I wish the answer was clear. If I had a passion for something maybe this decision would be easier but unfortunately I don’t feel that strongly about anything! I don’t know what to do!! I feel kind of lost!!
I am so sick and tired of people saying they will do something but bailing at the last minute! FOLLOW THROUGH ON YOUR WORD! Stop bailing on me because something better comes along!
And if something better does come along, then have the decency to tell me! Don’t leave me in the dark wondering what happened! It’s rude and I don’t run on your schedule! So stop wasting my time if you can’t follow through on your promises!
Who can I rely on anymore? Who can I trust to keep their promises?
